Okay, so what fun loving, slightly masochistic human decided to camouflage a pin cushion as an edible piece of fruit? (and yes tomatoes are a fruit). I mean really how do you expect man's best friend to know the difference?
Actually, I blame The Old Lady for the whole mess. She is the one who purchased said "pin cushion" and she's the one who chose to fill it full of straight pins. And she is also the one who left it in the middle of the dining room table in plain view when one is standing up right on their hind legs looking for a possible snack.
Of course I thought I had made the discovery of the century when I first started munching on it. I found it to have a mild tangy flavor with an earthy/saw dusty after taste which I quite enjoyed. It was the sharpness of the munch that I found distracting. After a few bites I realized that this rare fruit appeared to have thorns that were really sharp! As I spit out the remains of the disagreeable herbaceous, The Old Lady spied me from the kitchen and screeched out a few profanities as she approached me.
"Oh no Brent! What have you done?" she said this in a low foreboding tone when she reached me. Once again I questioned The Old Girl's vision. Wasn't it obvious that I was trying to have a nutritional snack only to discover that it was a fraudulent fruit and too painful to fully ingest? Without so much as a polite "Do you mind if I dislocate your jaw?" The Old Lady bent down grabbed my mug and pried it opened. After a quick visual she stood up and announced, "Well you've done it once again Brent!" At this point I wasn't quite sure what it was that I had done again. But I was pretty sure it wasn't pleasing to The Old Lady, 'cause if looks could kill, I'd be extinct right now!
Fifteen minutes later when we pulled up in front of The Old Man's Veterinarian Hospital I knew I was in deep doo! After The Old Girl explained my current situation to The Old Man, I was handed over to Sherrie who takes the X-Rays. I've always liked Sherrie she smells like vanilla and likes to give me cookies when I visit the office and calls me her "cutie boy".
After I was X-Rayed from head to toe (at The Old Lady's insistence)I was allowed to roam around the back room. I am allowed to do this when I visit as I have been deemed not to be a threat to most anything. I was enjoying the cookie that Sherrie had given me when I noticed that a door to an exam room had been left slightly ajar. I immediately went into my P.I. mode
(and yes, I do enjoy re-runs of Magnum P.I. late at night with my Mom Biscuit and The Old Lady).
As I stuck my snout into sniff the air, I noticed an older woman standing next to the exam table. Since my canine vision isn't the best, I thought it might be The Old Girl for a moment. But then I noticed that she was very fashionably dressed so I knew it couldn't be The Old Lady!
The woman was being very gentle as she quietly stroked the dog who was stretched out on the exam table. The dog appeared to be a brindle Boxer like me, except his mug was very grey and he didn't look like he wanted to play. He just laid there, very still with his eyes closed, as the woman bent down and whispered in his ear. I couldn't hear all of her words but I did hear, "love you", "friend" and "always". As the woman stood up she noticed me in the doorway. "Hello boy" she said softly.
Well being me I took this as an invitation to come on in, which of course I did. She smiled at me and patted me on the head. As I looked up into her face I saw that her eyes were watering so I licked her hand to let her know that "it was going to be okay". We just stood there for a moment when I heard Sherrie calling for me. The woman smiled again and said "You'd better go boy, they're looking for you." I wagged my tail good-bye and went off to find Sherrie and possibly another cookie.
When I found Sherrie she was standing with The Old Lady and The Old Man looking over my X-Rays. "Well he's pin free" The Old man announced. The Old Lady gave a sigh of relief and after thanking everyone she unceremoniously dragged me off to the car.
As I was being secured into my harness/seat belt I saw the older woman getting into a car.
She did not have her dog with her and her face looked very sad. I barked to her and when she saw me she smiled at me in recognition. I tried to say more, but The Old Lady told me to "Stop barking!" So I just smiled at the woman as we drove away.
Now I know some people don't believe that dogs can smile. The Old Man says it's just silly to think that a dog who has their mouth opened, with their jowls pulled up in a grin like position, is doing anything more than panting . But just like The Old Lady, The Old Man is only human and thus misses out on a lot of the canine subtleties in life. It's true you do have to look very carefully and be a bit open minded to see it. But we dogs do have a sense of humor and we can often be found having a good chortle over something some silly human has done. We honestly can't help ourselves as humans are a very funny species. We just try not to be rude about it!
When The Old Lady and I arrived back home, The Old Girl decided I needed to be in a time out for my transgressions. So I was put into my crate/jail. I really didn't mind though as I was quite tired and a snooze sounded pretty good to me. The other dogs were already napping except for my Mom Biscuit and the big dog Doc .
"Well kid", the big dog Doc asked after The Old Lady left the room, "What did they find?" I was a bit flustered at his asking about my health as he doesn't usually say much to me, unless it's to tell me not to be doing something that's bugging him. I told him about my X-rays and how I had been deemed "Pin free" by The Old Man.
The big dog chuckled to himself as he turned over and whispered under his breath "Diagnosis D.D. huh kid?"
I was about to ask my Mom Biscuit, what he was talking about when I remembered the fashionably dressed older woman at The Old Man's office and her grey muzzled Boxer dog.
I asked my Mom what she thought was wrong with the him and why he laid there so quietly.
My Mom took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. She turned toward me and her voice got real low as she began to tell me about the special bargain that is made between a human and their dog. She told me, it's usually decided upon early on in their relationship and is re affirmed as their relationship grows and the dog matures.
"You see Brentenious, (that's her nickname for me when she talks to me about important dog stuff) as dogs we are expected to offer unconditional love to our humans. We are to be there for them no matter what and show our devotion to them when they need us the most. In return we expect them to be there for us at the end of our canine years when we need them the most. It is at this time, that our humans are able to show how much they appreciate and love us through taking our pain away and allowing us to go forward without them. It is a great honor to be in the presence of a grey muzzled dog Brentenious and you must always show your respect for one when you see them.
"But why was the woman so sad and where was the grey muzzled dog going to without her?" I asked.
"I'm not sure where we go to after we leave our humans and I'm not sure that we need to know. What I do know is that taking someones pain away is a wonderful gift. Not that I need or want that gift right now. But it does give me a sense of peace to know it will be there for me when I need it." With that my Mom Biscuit stretched out and closed her eyes and then continued. "As far as the woman being sad Brentenious, that just means that the grey muzzled dog was a very special dog. She was a lucky lady to have had such a dog and she knew it!"
After a few moments I whispered, "Mom are you asleep?"
"No, but I'm trying to be Brent" she answered.
"Mom, what does "diagnosis D.D." mean?" I asked her.
"It means, diagnosis dumb dog." There was a moment of silence and then she added, "Don't let Doc fool you Brent. He knows the term because that's what they called him at the vet's office after he ate his second tomato pin cushion as a young dog."
With that the big dog Doc stood up in his crate/jail and stated crossly to my Mom, "You just had to tell him, didn't you Biscuit?"
"Oh Doc, where's your sense of D.D. humor?" she asked him and then started laughing.
Man oh man my Mom is so funny and there is no better sound than that of my Moms laughter at the end of a very long and sticky day! She definitely has a sharp sense of humor!
Well keep smiling ladies and do put those pin cushions where your canine friends CAN"T FIND THEM!
Best to you,
Brent the boy Boxer Dog
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