"Just Ask Brent!"

Hey Girls and Canine Friends, It's me Brent!

To show my thanks for all of your support with my blog, I am starting a "Just Ask Brent" weekly advice column! It will come out on Wednesdays, on my blog site, starting in two weeks.
Hopefully it will be very helpful in your daily life!

I encourage all of my friends in need of advice or who just want to share to go to my email site and submit a question or a tale! Remember I'll be two years old in August so please keep the questions and tales PG rated. If you have a canine medical emergency or question step away from your computer and .................
TAKE YOUR DOG TO THE VETERINARIAN ASAP! DON"T ASK ME WHAT TO DO!
I won't know the answer 'cause I am a dog and my blog and column are just for fun!

Be aware though................

Side effects of "Just Ask Brent" may include:

Smiling, thinking, agreeing, disagreeing, wanting to take your dog on more walks, wishing your dog was as smart as THAT dog you read about in my column, having the urge to go to more parks and fun places with your dog, petting and playing with your dog more often, and of course allowing your dog to sleep in bed with you.

"Just Ask Brent" will not cause :

You or your dog to gain weight, lose weight, have whitier teeth, increased male pattern baldness, erectile dysfunction or hemorrhoids. Okay so I don't really know what those last three are but I see LOTS of commercials about them so I'm thinking they're contagious!

"Just Ask Brent"

brenttheboyboxerdog@gmail.com

Brent the Ginger Snap Girl and the Tangelos

Hey Girls It’s me, Brent!

The most exciting thing has happened. No, it’s not that The Old Lady has mended her ways concerning me and is now treating me like the special boy that I am and thus allowing me to be part of the inner circle. No Folks, my great news is that…..I’m in love!

It all happened last weekend when The Old Lady had some of her Dog Show Cronies over after a show. They were sitting out on the patio chatting and trying to out do each other with their dog stories. There was lots of laughing and hand clapping and I do believe a box of “Cheese It’s” and a couple of bottles of “Pinot Grigio” were involved. But I can’t be sure because unlike the inner circle I was not invited out. My mom Biscuit, the big dog Doc and my snooty cousin Sonie, all members of the “inner circle” were once again paraded out in front of company for inspection there were nods of approval and words of praise offered. I on the other hand sat in my crate as each one of them had there special time with the company. I must admit I did shed a few tears.

Am I to blame for not being a member of the inner circle, one of The Old Lady’s champion dogs with a bulletin board full of ribbons and a scrap book full of winning pictures? Am I not the product of a champion consummation? You bet I am!

The Old Lady and her dog show cronies had been “oohing” and “aahing” over the members of the inner circle when a pretty blond lady named Lisa, who had recently disclosed that she was only a few years younger than The Old Girl but looked much, much younger if you ask me, said she wanted to bring out her girl puppy to play with one of the dogs. Well The Old Lady was beside herself and obviously out to impress as she said, “Oh, your puppy is such a pretty girl I’m sure one of my dogs would love to play with her.” When I heard the word play from inside my crate/jail I was over come with joy! Nobody loves to play more than me and I’m really good at it! I mean really good at it! The Old Lady said she’d be right back and after putting the last of the inner circle dogs away she paused in front of my crate and leaned down. “Now” she said in an irritating tone “if I let you out do you promise not to embarrass me?” By the dumfounded look on my face, The Old Lady quickly picked up on the fact that I wasn’t following her. By frolicking in the yard with a new playmate how could I possibly cause The Old Girl any grief? But I was eager to go out and play so I sat straight up in my crate cocked my head to one side and tried to look above suspicion. I kept my serious, I will do no wrong composure, intact as she lifted the latch on the crate door.

Half way out of my crate The Old Lady caught me and whispered in my ear, in a very harsh tone, which I did not appreciate, “If you eat any “Treat” in front of my friends, you will never be allowed out in the back yard with company again! Do you hear me?” Okay so I’m a dog and I do my darnedest to try and understand my humans. But I mean really, “Do you hear me?” Well of course I heard her. I couldn’t help but hear her! Her sun chapped lips were half way down my ear and her hot breath was making me want to scratch at it! You know I can’t help but wonder at times, when humans ask a dog a question, do they really, want an answer? I tell you girls it’s a wicked can of worms asking a dog what’s on their mind and to be honest you’re probably better off not knowing! So my advice to you is, think twice next time before you go to ask Fluffy “Who does Snookem’s love?” ‘cause you just might not like the answer!

As The Old Girl released me from my crate/jail she lifted my upper lip and sniffed my breath. “Oh no” she said, “this will never do!” She hurried into the kitchen and brought back some tangelos. Tangelos are a cross between an orange and a tangerine. The flavor is not quite orange nor tangerine so my humans do not care for them. I on the other hand, having a more developed palate, find them quite delicious. The Old Lady picks them from the tree in the backyard and likes to give them to me when she thinks my breath is questionable. They make my breath citrus sweet without any trace of “Treat.” She quickly fed me two of them, then gave me the once over with a wet wipe and a spritz of Puppy Be Fresh which she keeps handy for just such occasions. After The Old Lady slipped a collar over my head, she led me outside. Her friends made a fuss over me, as they always do, saying how cute I am with my big droopy eyes and sagging jowls. They each took a turn at squeezing my cheeks and stretching out my jowls into a big smile, which they each thought was hilarious. When at last they were done, with “smooshing” my face and talking puppy talk to me, I was free to run out into the yard. I was making my second pass around the yard, with my head held high, tail erect doing my best show dog imitation, when I caught site of her, standing by the gate. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at the most beautiful boxer girl I had ever seen in my life, that is except for my mom of course.

Her name was Reba and she moved like an exotic dancer, light on her feet with a devilish strut. Her coat was the color of ginger snaps. Not the cheap ones that The Old Lady buys at the grocery store but the really good ones she gets at Trader Joes for special occasions. I made my way toward her trying to look cool and aloof and I would have been pretty dang impressive if only I hadn’t tripped going down the patio stairs. I did my best to ignore the cackling of The Old Lady and her chums at my clumsiness. And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, The Old Girl stated loudly enough for all to hear, “Oh, I think he likes her”! I dropped my head in embarrassment and stared at the ground wanting to melt into the pavement. After a few moments I felt light sniffing at my cheek. I looked up, it was Reba and she had her soft moist nose close to my mouth. “Ummm”, she whispered sweetly, “Your breath smells like tangelo’s my favorite!” Okay, so she didn’t really say that. But she did look at me and then in the direction of the tangelo tree and then back at me, so it’s kinda, really the same thing.

Up close she was even more gorgeous so being a gentleman I let her initiate the sniff and greet. She smiled and wagged her tail when she was done. I sniffed at her, and girls she smelled like graham crackers and fresh cut grass. No really, graham crackers and fresh cut grass! It was love at first sniff! We frolicked and played chase for a long time. She was really good at it. When we grew tired we laid down next to each other on the grass. Reba sighed as she stretched out and rested her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and thought this must be what heaven is like. I was just about to whisper in her ear that I thought she was awfully pretty when The Old Lady yelled that it was time for me to go back inside ’cause Reba had to go home.

There wasn’t even time for a quick exit sniff before The Old Lady was dragging me away. When I was back in my crate/jail I yawned loudly as I stretched out. I wanted the inner circle to appreciate that I too had had my special time with The Old Girl and her dog show cronies. Unfortunately no one seemed impressed, especially my snooty cousin Sonie who said in a very snooty tone, “You know, if that girl ever comes back here, it won’t be to see you!” “What do you mean ?” I asked “That girl Reba, if she comes back here it will be to see Doc not you!” she hissed at me like a snake in the grass. “No way!” I cried. I looked over at the big dog Doc hoping for some glimmer of support from him. But he just grinned at me like a Cheshire cat, nodding his head ever so slightly. In horror, I realized that Sonie was right. Pretty girl boxers came to see the big dog Doc not me. ‘Cause I’m not special, I’m “Just Brent.” I’m not a member of the inner circle. I felt hot tears starting to well up in my eyes when I heard my mom Biscuit state loudly, “But she came to see Brent today didn’t she Sonie?” SNAP! My mom is so cool sometimes! Sonie was so busted she could only snort as she turned over in her crate.

I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes and thought about Reba with her beautiful coat the color of ginger snaps and how she smelled of fresh cut grass and graham crackers. It was then girls that I realized, I was in love…..and also very hungry!
Ain’t love grand?
Best to you,
Brent The Boy Boxer
P.S. Hey Girls don't forget to become a "Follower" of my blog so you will be notified of my updates!

Brent and the Moisture

Hey Folks! It’s me Brent!

Sorry I haven't written for awhile but The Old Lady has stifled my use of the computer and put me on restriction. She blames me for all the spam she's been receiving from the "Busty Boxer Babes Gone Wild" site. Like I'm the only dog in the house that enjoys looking at naked (no collars!) stacked, boxer girls. Hey, they are all over 18 mos of age and my oh my, are they gorgeous with that come hither look in their dark chocolate eyes and their sassy wet noses. Boy what I wouldn't give to run around the yard with one of those babes! Bet they could teach me a thing or two about digging and chewing up things. Well at least I can peek at them on the internet this weekend 'cause the The Old Lady has gone to a dog show with my "She Thinks She's All That!" cousin Sonie. Hah, like I even care that I've never been to a dog show! All they do is run around a ring and act snooty. Which evidently Sonie is pretty good at, the acting snooty part, 'cause she is very snooty to me all the time. Not like my sister Bebe who loved to play and dig with me and be with me and talk to me and...... (sniffle)......I really do miss her.
To be honest girls these past months have been very hard on me. It all started right after my sister Bebe moved to Washington with her new family. I had tried to be on my best behavior. I had not dug, chewed or partaken of "Treat" for two whole days. The Old Lady had noted my efforts to turn over a new leaf and as a reward after the Old Man had finished his lunch and drove off to return to his office, she invited me to take a nap with her and Biscuit on the big bed. That's the bed where The Old Lady and The Old Man sleep!
Well girls, I was beside myself with excitement and anticipation. I was hardly ever allowed in The Old Ladie's bedroom much less on her bed! This was going to be the start of something new for me. At last I would be part of the inner circle. I was to be a dog that could be trusted, maybe even depended upon! I was very pleased with myself so while The Old Lady went downstairs to get her book and reading glasses, I decided try out the big bed for myself. Wow, was it soft and bouncy. I jumped up and down on it while chasing my tail. I was in dog heaven. It was so much fun and so exciting! I was doing back flips and forward flips. I was amazing even to myself. I had never felt so excited and alive.
I was just about to do a 3/4 twist with a side/back flip when I noticed the "moisture". In all the excitement I had evidently, accidentally, wet on myself a little and on the bed covers... a whole lot. I froze in terror as I heard The Old Lady's approaching footsteps. My immediate reaction was to jump off the bed and blame the "accident" on my cousin Sonie. But Sonie was sleeping in her crate downstairs at the time. Damn that snooty girl! What was I to do? As the bedroom door opened I felt a sudden rush of calm. I had the answer! I knew what to do. I smiled at The Old Girl and wagged my tail as if I was pleased to see her as she entered the bedroom. My plan was to keep her distracted with my charm until the bed dried out.
Okay so it wasn't the greatest plan ever, especially when The Old Lady sat down next to me on a very wet spot. It took her a moment to realize that the warm moist feeling on her bottom had come from me. She was patting my head and saying "Now don't you like being up here where the good dogs.....Oh My God! What the? Oh no, Brent!" It was in her enthusiasm with which she said my name that I knew I was screwed! I darted like a bat out of hell trying to get away from her.
Unfortunately a few sprinklings of my "moisture" had landed on the hard wood floor and now made my escape somewhat of a slip and slide catastrophe! I half flew, half skidded across the floor toward the slightly ajar bedroom door through which I had hoped to make my escape. But as luck would have it, my back end caught the corner of the door slamming it shut blocking my way. Damn! Foiled again! I turned slowly to face The Old Lady, who didn't appear really angry, just more in shock at the sequence of events that had just occurred. "Really Brent" she said in an eerie whispery voice, "You wet the bed?" This portion of her questioning was said with more force and I noted a slight tremor in her voice. I didn't know if I was facing jail/crate time or my impending death.
Actually, I was finding her hard to read and this really scared me. So I did what any intelligent dog would do. I hung my head, looked up at her with sad soul-full eyes let out a long sigh and whimpered. I knew by the look on The Old Lady's face that she was now finding it difficult to read me. I was hoping that she would find me to have a look of dog that was full of remorse, and take pity on me or even think me somewhat daft with a leaking bladder condition. Heck she could think what ever she wanted just as long as it didn't end with me in “The freezer.” I've often heard The Old Man talk about "The Freezer". He has one at his veterinary hospital I don’t know what it's for but my mom Biscuit told me, "Once you go in, you don't come out!"
Well my eyes were beginning to water as The Old Lady and I stared intently at one another and I could feel my back end starting to cramp where I had banged it into the bedroom door. The Old Lady and I just kept staring at each other, neither wanting to be the first to blink or look away. It was...a Mexican Stand Off! Heaven knows how it would have ended, maybe in blood shed. Alright, probably not, but a little drama always helps a story to move along!
It was the sound of The Old Man's car pulling back into the driveway that finally broke the stalemate between me and The Old Lady. We both looked toward the driveway and then back at each other and then at the wetness on the bed. "Ahhhhhhh!" cried The Old Girl, as she frantically gathered up the bed linens into a ball. "Run!" she screamed at me.
Like I didn't know to run? The Old Man's bed is wet and she thinks I'm going to stick around to take credit for it? Heck, No! I was half way down the stairs when The Old Boy came in through the front door. He was oblivious to my presence as The Old Lady came down the stairs with the moisture filled linens acting like everything was fine. "Oh did you forget something?" The Old Lady questioned sweetly giving him one of her "All's right with the world" smiles. I've seen her practice them often in the mirror, as she examines her face for any new signs and symptoms of aging, age spots/wrinkles, which she always finds and then acts so surprised that they are there. Humans!
The Old Lady's smile and demeanor seemed to soften The Old Man for a moment, either that or he was just pleased to see that she was changing the bed linens and doing laundry instead of taking her regular afternoon "Siesta" with Biscuit. After retrieving what ever it was that he had left behind on the desk, The Old Man chimed, "Love you"  as he closed the door behind him and left once again. The smile left The Old Lady's face with the click of the door. She turned to me with her steely blue eyes and with a thin lipped snarl she said, "Okay you" pointing a twisted arthritic finger toward my nose, "Into your crate now!" Well it didn't take me but a boxer heart beat to get my brindle butt back into my crate. Heck anything beat the FREEZER at this point!
And my crate is where I stayed while The Old Lady put fresh sheets on the Big Bed. I heard her call for Biscuit and knew the "Siesta" was about to start. Then I heard her foot steps approaching the dog room where the Big Dog Doc and I were resting in our crates. My heart leaped into my throat. Oh my gosh, had she forgiven me and was now coming to release me from my crate/jail and thus allow me to be apart of the "Siesta"? Heck no!

The Old Lady walked right pass my crate/jail and stopped in front of my snooty cousin Sonies' crate. As she leaned down and unlatched the crate door I heard her say "Now, here's a good dog to take a nap with." Damn! As if Sonie wasn't snooty enough already, now this! My cousin slowly stretched and yawned as she exited her crate looking my way with a knowing glint in her eye. She then strutted her show girl figure in front of my crate/jail and as she passed she paused to whisper "Sucker!" under her breath. My feelings were crushed. I was now the object of jokes and humiliation amongst my peers. I was the lowly of lowliest, the bottom of the barrel, the wannabe dog. Defeated I slid back down in my crate/jail and began to wallow in my sorrows and self pity, of which I am very good at doing.
As The Old Lady passed my crate I heard the Big Dog Doc snicker. I glanced up with wounded pride, figuring I was about to be the brunt of one of his "dumb dog" jokes, when I noticed that he was snickering at, the use to be size 10, bum of The Old Lady and not at me. I turned to catch a glimpse of The Old Girls' backside as she left the room and in doing so saw what the Big Dog Doc found so humorous. "Wow Kid, did you cause that?" questioned The Big Dog. He was referring to the very large wet spot on the backside of The Old Ladies' jeans. (Not to the amazing expansion of her whole bum area which is totally her fault not mine. I mean really how much peanut brittle does one human need to ingest over the holiday period before the word addiction is used?) As far as the very large wet spot goes, I do believe that in her rush to cover up my indiscretion/moisture letting, she had completely forgotten about the "moisture" on her own jeans. As she closed the door to the crate room I heard The Big Dog Doc mutter as he made himself comfortable in his crate, "Serves her right!"
You see, he was a bit miffed that The Old Lady had chosen Biscuit and Sonie over him for the "Siesta". It was then that I heard him utter those most precious words, words I thought I would never hear about me from The Big Dog, "Well done kid!"
"Well done Kid!" Man, oh, man, was I in heaven! The Big Dog Doc had not only spoken to me.....but he had praised my actions. I wanted to say something clever back at him but thought better of it, which was the right decision as I soon heard him snoring softly. That was Okay as I was beginning to feel a little drowsy myself. Hey, it had been a long and somewhat eventful morning, one in which I had become "One" with The Big Dog or at least for the moment and besides, it was "Siesta" time!

Brent and the Sneeze!

Hey Folks! It's Me Brent!

Achoo! Ah! I do enjoy a good sneeze! It's like having fizzes up your nose which is better than a bee any day!

Well if you haven't noticed winter is over and Spring has sprung and I have to be honest, it could not have come at a better time. I swear to you as a boy boxer dog, all of the rain and dreary skies......it was getting to me! I found myself wanting to sleep more and eat more and dig more and .......oh wait that's all the stuff I love doing best in any weather! Okay, so it was the dreary skies I have become weary of. Yeah that's it! Now the skies are sunny and full of white puffy clouds! I like to lie on my back and gaze up at the clouds and imagine what it would be like to be a cloud. Then I roll back over and take a nap 'cause actually, clouds are a bit boring and they make me really sleepy.

But beware ladies, Spring is not as passive a season as one might imagine! Oh No! There are dangers at this time of year and hence I have constructed my list.

"Ten things plus one to Beware of in Spring"

By, Brent The Boy Boxer Dog

AKA "Just Brent"

1. Chasing Butterflies. Yes they are fun to chase after but if you catch them and lick their wings, they don't fly so well and then The Old Lady will yell at you, "Brent leave those Butterflies alone ". But you might forget and if you get caught again you will be put in a "Time Out" in your crate/jail (for heaven knows how long). Besides that, butterflies do not taste like butter, they taste like beetles and beetles DO NOT TASTE GOOD! No matter what my snooty cousin Sonie dares you to do. Do not eat a beetle!

2. Rolling on the Grass. Okay this sounds like a good idea but trust me, it's not on a freshly mowed lawn. It can be very scratchy and you can get welts on your belly that really itch! But you do smell spring time fresh afterwards.

3. Being kind to Lady Bugs. Yes they are cute as they flutter about. But if you let them land on your nose and you stare at them for a long time....you can get a really bad headache and the beagle next door says your eyes could stay crossed FOREVER. But what does he know. He chases his tail most of the day and goes out late at night to bark at the moon. Which come to think of it, really ticks off The Old Girl.....so maybe he isn't so dumb after all.

4. Temptation to run in circles and then drink lots of water. While running is very fun, throwing up is not.

5. Allowing a June bug to go in your ear. They are not as bright as they might first appear to be. They have a tendency to get lost and stay in your ear. After the buzzing finally dies down, you have to go to The Old Man's office and he removes it with a long pincher. June bugs do not smell very nice after being lost in your ear for a week.

6. Licking between your toes when you get bored. Yes it can be tasty at times, but it's not worth having both The Old Lady and The Old Man yell at you. Also your mom will not be pleased with you. She will tell you "It's tacky!"
7. Chasing Humming Birds.......You will look really stupid as they are really fast and you could trip over a low wall and fall into a fish pond trying to catch one. Even your mother might laugh at you and say "Now that was really dumb." (Which could hurt your feelings and make you very sad.)
8. Licking Bees on the ground. They are tasty. But their stingers REALLY hurt!

9. Eating Bees on a wall. They are very tasty. But their stingers REALLY, REALLY hurt!

10. Sniffing Bees on a bush. They do smell good! But their stingers REALLY, REALLY do hurt!

11. Picking of Spring Flowers. Although their bright colors and fragrant pedals are VERY tempting. Do not pick them and then take the time and energy to arrange them in a spectacular array in the middle of the patio. Your humans will only chastise you and put you in a time out. Even though it's Mothers Day and you were only trying to express your love and admiration for The Old Lady.......snicker, snicker. You so know I was just having fun with my snooty cousin Sonie. Who refused to pick a pedal, 'cause she, thinks she's all that, but certainly enjoyed the mayhem of shredding and arranging, then conveniently snuck away when The Old Lady appeared. Now I'm in a "time out" in my crate/jail and Sonie is on the couch watching "Law & Order" reruns with The Old Lady. SPRING FLOWERS are NOT worth all the trouble they can create for you!


Well that's my list!
So beware and take care,
Your friend,
Brent The Boy Boxer

Brent Says Goodbye to Sister Bebe

Hello Folks! It’s Me Brent,

Okay, so as you probably know by now The Old Lady had been planning on placing my, perfect can do no wrong, sister Bebe with a “nice” family. She had screened many applicants and had decided on a lovely couple from the state of Washington, who seemed and I quote “just right.”
In preparation for their arrival sister Bebe was bathed in the big bathroom, tub and blow-dried followed with a manicure. I on the other hand was hosed down in the back yard, told to run around the yard to dry off and then encouraged to run on the pavement to file my nails down. I was also repeatedly instructed not to screw it up for sister Bebe by “acting out” or eating any “treat” in front of the guests. Like I could find any “treat”. The Old Lady always picks up religiously when anyone visits. So to be honest, I am always pleased to see company go home!
When the Washington couple arrived and it was love at first sight! They really liked sister Bebe and I hate to admit it but the kid was doing her best to please them. She was fetching and playing and acting like a well-bred boxer so much so that I hardly recognized her!


The Old Lady, was really pleased with how things were going when she decided it was time for sister Bebe and the Washington folks to have some private time to play and bond. She gave the couple a super glitter ball for fetch and even brought out “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy to play with. I am not allowed to play with “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy. The Old Lady says I’ll break him or chew him up or do some other murderous act on him. Like I would ever chew anything up!

After instructing them to take their time and enjoy getting to know one another The Old Lady left sister Bebe, the folks from Washington, the glitter ball and “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy on their own, in the backyard. The Old Girl then went out in the front to play with my cousin Sonie. I had begged to go with them but The Old Lady said, “No, you can go out in the backyard after sister Bebe is done bonding.


The Old Lady doesn’t trust me in the front yard anymore, something about cars, squirrels and squashed dogs who won’t listen when spoken to. I really don’t know who or what she is talking about. I mean it was only one incident and no one was injured. Although I do believe, the driver did give The Old Lady the freeway high sign and yelled out something about "Stupid dog owner keep your dog out of the street." The neighbor next door also observed the whole exchange which thoroughly embarrassed The Old Girl. I was immediately chastised and banished to the backyard where there are no cars and only occasional squirrels, making my chances of getting squashed pretty minimal.
The curtains in the dog room were partially opened so I could see sister Bebe from my crate/jail playing with the Washington folks. She had tired of fetch and was now playing with “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy. What a show off! Posing in a provocative manner with that boxer butt of hers up in the air, sassy tail wagging furiously, squeaking here there and everywhere. Tossing “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy up in the air over and over again and catching it. It was actually a very impressive show of dexterity. However, it was her last move that was the real showstopper. She tossed “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy high up in the air, did a complete 360-degree turn, successfully caught “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy in her mouth and then promptly swallowed him. Yes I said, swallowed him! All 4inches by 3 ½ inches of brown rubber bear down her throat passed her tonsils and into her “perfect” can do no wrong boxer belly. All in one swift gulp! Talk about screwing it up Bebe!
The Washington folks, well folks, for a moment they just froze then looked at one another and in unison screamed “Noooooo!” The woman was the first to react. She ran over to Bebe and shoved her hand down the girl’s throat in hopes of grabbing a bit of “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toys rubber butt, but to no avail.
The man quickly gathered his wits and went running to the front yard yelling, “She’s swallowed it!” The Old Lady paused in her play with cousin Sonie and asked politely,
“Excuse me?’
“Bebe, she swallowed it.” repeated the man.
“What?” questioned The Old Girl.
“She swallowed the toy!” cried the man.
“She did what? Are you sure?” asked The Old Lady slowly seeming unable to process what was being said
“Bebe, she s-w-a-l-l-o-w-e-d the s-q-u-e-a-k-y- t-o-y.” The man, who spoke slowly and with an exaggerated enunciation, was becoming a bit agitated at this point. Not only had the dog, which he and his wife had flown over a thousand miles to meet, just ingested an intact rubber squeaky toy in one swallow, but now the owner appeared to have some kind of mental deficiency.
“She swallowed the squeaky toy!” The man’s voice now had a tone of desperation in it as if he was trying to will The Old Lady to understand him, which she finally did.“Oh my God!” screeched The Old Girl, followed by a few choice expletives, which she uses on me regularly but, at the moment seemed to stun the gentleman from Washington.
Well at that point, the two of them ran into the backyard where I could once again both hear and see them from my crate/jail. And folks, it was a sight to see!
My sister Bebe was standing there with her tail wagging in no apparent distress waiting for someone to throw the glitter ball for a frolicking game of fetch. Obviously even Bebe was aware that a game of hide the “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy was not going to happen. Hey, you gotta give the girl her due credit. It had been a game of hide and seek the squeaky toy and she had won hands down! Actually, it was a moment of pride for me. My sister was a no holds barred “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy extraordinaire! The kid rocked!
The humans on the other hand did not seem to share my perspective on the situation. The Old Lady looked more than a little perturbed as she dragged Bebe off to The Old Man’s veterinary office. I can only guess how that went for The Old Girl.
“You gave her what to play with? What were you thinking?” The Old Man x-rayed Bebe and sure enough, there was a brown bear in her belly. So under his direction Sis and The Old Lady headed off to see a surgery specialist. As luck would have it the surgeon was able to use a endoscope and commented that the removal looked like a breach birth as “Mr. Brown Bear” squeaky toy had gone down sister Bebe’s, now obviously large, throat head first and thus came out butt first. I doubt The Old Lady saw the humor in this considering by now, it was now two o’clock in the morning and she was more than a bit frazzled.
Approximately eight hours after the removal of “Mr. Brown Bear” from sister Bebe’s Boxer belly, the Washington folks declared their intent to take my sister Bebe home with them to be their dog. Evidently, the ingestion of a squeaky toy had not scared them off. In fact, if bonding was what The Old Lady was hoping for that fateful afternoon, it had definitely happened! The Washington couple couldn’t get enough of my sister. They walked her three or four times that day and the woman kept going on and on about how gentle Bebe had been when she had shoved her hand down the girl’s throat in an attempt to retrieve the now infamous bear. Well duh! Even I know better that to bite the hand that might soon be feeding you.
Bright and early the next morning my sister Bebe boarded an Alaskan Airlines plane and flew to her new home in Washington with her new family. The Old Lady had gone to the airport to see them off. When she came home afterwards, she was very quite and kept dabbing at her eyes. I figured it was her allergies acting up. Sometime later that afternoon when we were in the backyard playing, The Old Girl came up to me and placed her hand on my head. I thought “Oh my gosh! What did I do this time? But she just bend down and sniffed at my breath, which at that moment was “treat” free and then patted me on the head. “You’re a good boy Brent!” she said softly.
I liked her saying that to me. I also enjoyed her scratching behind my ears and blowing hot air on my cheek. Maybe this was the start of something new, or maybe not, ‘cause to be honest, I do enjoy being naughty. I love digging and eating flowers and chewing on things I’m not suppose to and chasing cats and squirrels and barking at the neighbors and eating “treat” and just about everything that ticks The Old Lady off.
I guess I’m just not a Bebe. I’m a "Just Brent"
Good Luck Bebe in your new home! You will be missed but never forgotten.
Love Brent