Dear Just Brent,
Your column has been very helpful in the past and I am hoping you can help me now. I have a household of wonderful Boxers who I love dearly, but I often have a problem (as have other owners I know) with my dogs refusing to come in when called. I used to be able to get them to follow the command when I called out “cookie, cookie, cookie” (which I would have in hand and gave to them when they came). Now, they will stop and look at me in defiance as if to say, “I’m not falling for that trick, 'cause you want to put me in the crate, or make me go outside, or make me come inside" (or whatever else I want them to do). What do you recommend I do to get them to come when I call them? Please help me with my divas.
Miss Bonnie, Proud owner/breeder/lover of gorgeous Boxers!
Dear Miss Bonnie,
This is so cool as you are only my second human to write in. This shows me that you obviously have an above average IQ. Unfortunately, I think that your smartness might have rubbed off on your dogs! Either that or your choice of cookies are of questionable quality and/or flavor! I hope you are not offering Animal Cookies! While it is true that their frosting is both festive and flavorful, I myself find it a bit cannibalistic to consume them. One time Bridget the Poodle, who lives across the street, had taken a pink frosted rhinoceros animal cookie and buried it in her toy box. When she found it eight months later, it had not aged at all! The rhinoceros was still bright pink and festive. She had offered it to me, but I said "No thank you! I'm no cannibal!" But Benny the Beagle said he did not have a problem eating a rhinoceros and took it down in a munch and a gulp. Verdict? Still flavorful and crunchy, according to Benny the Beagle.
So my Dear Miss Bonnie here is my advice to you,
1.Only buy really good cookies. As I have revealed in the past, my very favorite cookies are the Ginger Snaps from Trader Joe's. Do not low ball your canine family with a discounted store brand or even worse do not under any circumstances call "Cookies, Cookies" unless you really have some in your hand and are ready to reward those who believe in your words and come running. If you do try to low ball your canine family and make empty promises they will think you are a politician and possibly try to bite your leg when you approach them!
2. Have a Boxer family meeting. (The Old Lady loves doing these!) Gather your Boxers together in a circle with you sitting cross legged in the middle.With a tear in your voice say "I don't know where I went wrong? Heaven knows I try. But do I get any support from you guys?" When you say this last line try and make eye contact with each of your non "Cookie" responders. Then let out a big sigh and look very disappointed while you slowly shake your head from side to side. This will make your non "Cookie" responders feel very guilty and want to change their ways!
3. If all else fails buy a goat! Preferably a Nigerian Dwarf goat as they are very friendly and cute! I know this as Moose the Bloodhound who lives around the corner met one at his cousin's house. Moose said that goats will eat just about anything (maybe not "Treat" but just about anything else!) And how clever is it that they come to you already named? I would encourage you to pick a Nanny goat and not a Billy goat because even though the Billy's smell is delightful, they can be really bossy, much like my cousin Sonie! Believe me, the arrival of your new goat will put your non " Cookie" responders on Notice! Just imagine yourself at your backdoor calling out "Nanette cookies!" (You will probably want to call your goat Nanette in front of your Boxers as this will impress them that she has a "Show Girl" name. As your goat eats the cookies in front of the non responders, say things like "Good goat," and "Oh Nanette you are my special girl" as you look into her horizontal pupiled eyes. (Do not stare into your goats eyes too long as she might try to hypnotize you! Moose says goats can do that but Benny says, " No way." I say better safe than sorry!) If you say these things in front of your Boxers, they will be very jealous and fearful that if they don't behave and come when called, they might just soon be replaced by this friendly, cute caprine!
My Best to you,
Brent the Boy Boxer Dog
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