"Just Ask Brent"

Dear Just Brent,

I have a minor dilemma of the utmost importance. First let me clear up a few things so that there is no confusion. I adore my human Margaret/AKA Maggie. She is not only the best human a dog could ask for but she is also my best friend, as she likes to talk to me about everything. However, there lies my problem Mr. Brent, she insists on talking to me as if I am a small child. Since I am a Boston terrier and small in physical stature, this does not reflect my mental capacity. What my Maggie girl doesn't know is that as soon as she falls asleep at night, I squirm my way out of her grip and head straight to the Internet in order to quench my intellectual thirst with as many news sites as my paws can click (and of course a little entertainment, which is where your blog comes in). However, my sweet Maggie continues to insist on dressing me up like a little sailor or a pumpkin or with the change of the season, an elf! I have more than my dashing good looks and the ability to pull off just about any costume she can come up with, it’s just that I would much rather be picking out a financial port folio with her instead of buying the latest Paris Hilton inspired "Canine Cuties" outfit. I don't look "hot", I am hot, as in over heated.
Help! I'm melting in Frustration,
Buttercup, Boston Terrier age 8

Dear Mr. Cup,
With a name like Buttercup I feel your frustration! But wowziers, I've always dreamt of playing dress up at Halloween! It's just The Old Lady is too cheap. I 've imagined myself a pirate (kinda like a Boxer Johnny Depp!) and I would have a really big sword and boots and a long purple sash and I would say things like "Aye-Aye Matie!" I would be an outstanding pirate! My ship would be called "The Sea Biscuit" and I would have a boxer wench at every port, who I would sing to "Boxer wench, you’re a fine girl what a good wife you would be, but my love, my life and my lady is the sea”, and they would all idolize me and think me……amazing! But I digress as this is not about me.....it's about you Buttercup and your frustrations not mine!
I wasn't sure how to take aim at your situation so I conversed with my next door neighbor Benny the Beagle. He was a bumble bee for Halloween two years ago (I thought he looked rather dashing as a fuzzy anthropod!) Benny said that while as a Thespian he enjoyed the challenge of portraying the Bombus Sterestris, he found the stinger to be a bit of a nuisance when trying to sit down. He said he feels that dressing up at Halloween is the patriotic thing to do, so he does not have a problem with it once a year. But he said "Do it more than that?"and I quote, "Hell No!"
I then queried Bridget the Poodle who lives across the street. Bridget loves to play dress up with her human girl Sophie, who is six years old in human years. Every year at Halloween Bridget comes trick-or-treating with Sophie. This year they dressed up in look alike fairy costumes. When I answered the door, with The Old Lady, I tried to pretend I didn't recognize them. But I could tell it was Bridget because her poofy poodle tail was sticking out from underneath her pink wings and she started wagging it when she saw me. Today, when I asked Bridget about wearing costumes she told me that dress up is lots of fun, especially when she and Sophie play princess or bride dog. Bridget also said that while she does get "hot" at times while in costume, she loves the way that her Sophie looks at her when they play. She said "hot" or not and I quote, "It's well worth it!"

So my dear Mr. Cup this is my advice to you:
1. As we interact with our humans we all have to decide what is "Well worth it" and what is a "Hell No!" situation. It's the give and take of our canine/human relationship that makes our daily life what it is. As a mature pooch I encourage you to pick your battles with Maggie. You need to choose what is more important to you, making Miss Maggie happy with dress up or your free time on the Internet. I myself have had to do this at times like when I have chosen to refrain from partaking of "treat" in exchange for, a hopefully blind eye from The Old Lady when I'm taking, a snooze on the couch. While dressing up as a sailor might be uncomfortable at times you might think of it as an opportunity to not only please your Maggie but also catch the eye of a cute Beagle or Schnauzer girl, as I hear they have a thing for sailors!
2. When your Maggie is reading the morning newspaper take the opportunity to guide her to a financial gain either through the chew & tear/clipping of dog food coupons or a paw print on a wise buy in the business section of the paper. She will think you a very clever pup and possibly let you go naked for the day! You know Mr. Cup, we dogs often have to take the lead with our humans in order for them to have a more successful and fulfilling life. Either through a long walk, a fast paced game of fetch or if all else fails a good chew on their favorite shoe it is up to us to make them stop and take a personal inventory of what it is they are doing and where in life they are going. Don't forget that once a human has left their whelping box and moved out on their own they are bound to have moments of frustration or loneliness. It is at these moments that it is our God given duty to intervene. As canines we all know that a lick on the hand or a wag of the tail is our way of saying, "It's going to be okay kid, you can do it"!
Do remember Mr. Cup, whether you be a sailor, a pirate or a bumble bee, you are above all else a Dog! We are a great species who get to share our lives with those crazy kids called "Humans". And as we know, for most of them whether they be a Maggie, a Jeff, a Sandy, a Rachel, a Doug, or even a Susan, it is we who ROCK their world!
So Mr. Cup, keep on Rocking! You can do it!
Best to you,
Brent the Boy Boxer Dog

Need some advice on life? Just Ask Brent!

email all questions to brenttheboyboxerdog@gmail.com