Brent the Ginger Snap Girl and the Tangelos

Hey Girls It’s me, Brent!

The most exciting thing has happened. No, it’s not that The Old Lady has mended her ways concerning me and is now treating me like the special boy that I am and thus allowing me to be part of the inner circle. No Folks, my great news is that…..I’m in love!

It all happened last weekend when The Old Lady had some of her Dog Show Cronies over after a show. They were sitting out on the patio chatting and trying to out do each other with their dog stories. There was lots of laughing and hand clapping and I do believe a box of “Cheese It’s” and a couple of bottles of “Pinot Grigio” were involved. But I can’t be sure because unlike the inner circle I was not invited out. My mom Biscuit, the big dog Doc and my snooty cousin Sonie, all members of the “inner circle” were once again paraded out in front of company for inspection there were nods of approval and words of praise offered. I on the other hand sat in my crate as each one of them had there special time with the company. I must admit I did shed a few tears.

Am I to blame for not being a member of the inner circle, one of The Old Lady’s champion dogs with a bulletin board full of ribbons and a scrap book full of winning pictures? Am I not the product of a champion consummation? You bet I am!

The Old Lady and her dog show cronies had been “oohing” and “aahing” over the members of the inner circle when a pretty blond lady named Lisa, who had recently disclosed that she was only a few years younger than The Old Girl but looked much, much younger if you ask me, said she wanted to bring out her girl puppy to play with one of the dogs. Well The Old Lady was beside herself and obviously out to impress as she said, “Oh, your puppy is such a pretty girl I’m sure one of my dogs would love to play with her.” When I heard the word play from inside my crate/jail I was over come with joy! Nobody loves to play more than me and I’m really good at it! I mean really good at it! The Old Lady said she’d be right back and after putting the last of the inner circle dogs away she paused in front of my crate and leaned down. “Now” she said in an irritating tone “if I let you out do you promise not to embarrass me?” By the dumfounded look on my face, The Old Lady quickly picked up on the fact that I wasn’t following her. By frolicking in the yard with a new playmate how could I possibly cause The Old Girl any grief? But I was eager to go out and play so I sat straight up in my crate cocked my head to one side and tried to look above suspicion. I kept my serious, I will do no wrong composure, intact as she lifted the latch on the crate door.

Half way out of my crate The Old Lady caught me and whispered in my ear, in a very harsh tone, which I did not appreciate, “If you eat any “Treat” in front of my friends, you will never be allowed out in the back yard with company again! Do you hear me?” Okay so I’m a dog and I do my darnedest to try and understand my humans. But I mean really, “Do you hear me?” Well of course I heard her. I couldn’t help but hear her! Her sun chapped lips were half way down my ear and her hot breath was making me want to scratch at it! You know I can’t help but wonder at times, when humans ask a dog a question, do they really, want an answer? I tell you girls it’s a wicked can of worms asking a dog what’s on their mind and to be honest you’re probably better off not knowing! So my advice to you is, think twice next time before you go to ask Fluffy “Who does Snookem’s love?” ‘cause you just might not like the answer!

As The Old Girl released me from my crate/jail she lifted my upper lip and sniffed my breath. “Oh no” she said, “this will never do!” She hurried into the kitchen and brought back some tangelos. Tangelos are a cross between an orange and a tangerine. The flavor is not quite orange nor tangerine so my humans do not care for them. I on the other hand, having a more developed palate, find them quite delicious. The Old Lady picks them from the tree in the backyard and likes to give them to me when she thinks my breath is questionable. They make my breath citrus sweet without any trace of “Treat.” She quickly fed me two of them, then gave me the once over with a wet wipe and a spritz of Puppy Be Fresh which she keeps handy for just such occasions. After The Old Lady slipped a collar over my head, she led me outside. Her friends made a fuss over me, as they always do, saying how cute I am with my big droopy eyes and sagging jowls. They each took a turn at squeezing my cheeks and stretching out my jowls into a big smile, which they each thought was hilarious. When at last they were done, with “smooshing” my face and talking puppy talk to me, I was free to run out into the yard. I was making my second pass around the yard, with my head held high, tail erect doing my best show dog imitation, when I caught site of her, standing by the gate. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at the most beautiful boxer girl I had ever seen in my life, that is except for my mom of course.

Her name was Reba and she moved like an exotic dancer, light on her feet with a devilish strut. Her coat was the color of ginger snaps. Not the cheap ones that The Old Lady buys at the grocery store but the really good ones she gets at Trader Joes for special occasions. I made my way toward her trying to look cool and aloof and I would have been pretty dang impressive if only I hadn’t tripped going down the patio stairs. I did my best to ignore the cackling of The Old Lady and her chums at my clumsiness. And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, The Old Girl stated loudly enough for all to hear, “Oh, I think he likes her”! I dropped my head in embarrassment and stared at the ground wanting to melt into the pavement. After a few moments I felt light sniffing at my cheek. I looked up, it was Reba and she had her soft moist nose close to my mouth. “Ummm”, she whispered sweetly, “Your breath smells like tangelo’s my favorite!” Okay, so she didn’t really say that. But she did look at me and then in the direction of the tangelo tree and then back at me, so it’s kinda, really the same thing.

Up close she was even more gorgeous so being a gentleman I let her initiate the sniff and greet. She smiled and wagged her tail when she was done. I sniffed at her, and girls she smelled like graham crackers and fresh cut grass. No really, graham crackers and fresh cut grass! It was love at first sniff! We frolicked and played chase for a long time. She was really good at it. When we grew tired we laid down next to each other on the grass. Reba sighed as she stretched out and rested her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and thought this must be what heaven is like. I was just about to whisper in her ear that I thought she was awfully pretty when The Old Lady yelled that it was time for me to go back inside ’cause Reba had to go home.

There wasn’t even time for a quick exit sniff before The Old Lady was dragging me away. When I was back in my crate/jail I yawned loudly as I stretched out. I wanted the inner circle to appreciate that I too had had my special time with The Old Girl and her dog show cronies. Unfortunately no one seemed impressed, especially my snooty cousin Sonie who said in a very snooty tone, “You know, if that girl ever comes back here, it won’t be to see you!” “What do you mean ?” I asked “That girl Reba, if she comes back here it will be to see Doc not you!” she hissed at me like a snake in the grass. “No way!” I cried. I looked over at the big dog Doc hoping for some glimmer of support from him. But he just grinned at me like a Cheshire cat, nodding his head ever so slightly. In horror, I realized that Sonie was right. Pretty girl boxers came to see the big dog Doc not me. ‘Cause I’m not special, I’m “Just Brent.” I’m not a member of the inner circle. I felt hot tears starting to well up in my eyes when I heard my mom Biscuit state loudly, “But she came to see Brent today didn’t she Sonie?” SNAP! My mom is so cool sometimes! Sonie was so busted she could only snort as she turned over in her crate.

I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes and thought about Reba with her beautiful coat the color of ginger snaps and how she smelled of fresh cut grass and graham crackers. It was then girls that I realized, I was in love…..and also very hungry!
Ain’t love grand?
Best to you,
Brent The Boy Boxer
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